Tell Us About Your Most Recent Ex and We’ll Tell You Who You’ll Marry
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Relationships are really great and then they’re not. When you break up with someone, you’re left with all this extra love that you used to channel into this person and now has nowhere to go. So, it sits in you and calcifies. That’s what heartbreak is – it totally sucks. But, nevertheless, these relaShow More
Relationships are really great and then they’re not. When you break up with someone, you’re left with all this extra love that you used to channel into this person and now has nowhere to go. So, it sits in you and calcifies. That’s what heartbreak is – it totally sucks. But, nevertheless, these relationships exist as containers for us to learn and grow and actually, they’re great windows to see what you want in your forever-relationship. Yes, your ex is a version of the person you’re going to marry. Just, take the good bits, learn from the bad, and move on. But where? And to who?
Just tell us a little bit more about your last relationship or your most major ex and we’ll do all that messy clerical work for you! Who wants to do clerical work when it comes to your heart? We do. That sounds fun, actually. So, let us know what went down in your last relationship and we’ll tell you who you’ll get married to!
When it comes to you and your ex, who said "I love you" first in your relationship?
- I did
- They did
- We never said it, but I felt it
- We never said it because we weren’t in love
We only care about your side of the story, here. So, rate your break up with this ex.
- Very healthy and mutual
- Disappointing, but we both knew this was coming
- We were slowly drifting apart. It was death by 1,000 paper cuts.
- I was completely blindsided. We had to break up!
- It was an ugly, messy break up. Absolutely the worst!
Pick a break up anthem to dedicate to your ex!
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If you had the opportunity to hook up with your ex one more time, would you be into having break up sex?
- Of course, the sex was really good!
- I might, I miss them…
- Maybe as a booty call, but only once I feel better.
- No, literally never!
If your ex took truth serum and had to answer only one question for you, which one would it be?
- Do you wish we were still together?
- What do you miss the most about me?
- What’s your favorite memory of me?
- Do you regret how things ended?
- Did you ever think we would end up spending the rest of our lives together?
- Did you ever cheat on me?
What do your friends think about your ex now that you've broken up?
- My friends still talk to them
- They miss my ex
- They hate my ex
Did you lose anything in the break up? Not like you misplaced them, but what did you lose?
- Material things
- A few friends
- Weight
- A pet
- A few places I liked to go to
Be honest here: who broke up with who? Really.
- I broke up with them
- They broke up with me
- It was truly 100% mutual
Which phrase popped up in the middle of your break up? Think back and pull out a key phrase that's stuck with you.
- “We need to talk…”
- “So I’ve given this a lot of thought and…”
- “We can still be friends…”
- “I just don’t feel a connection anymore…”
- “I think we’re both looking for different things…”
- “You’re such a catch, you’ll be fine…”
What setting did this break up take place? Where did it all go down?
- Your place
- Their place
- In public
What brings you much needed relief and release when you're experiencing heart break?
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Did you (or are you going to) delete all of the pictures you have together off of social media?
- Yes
- No
In your relationship, what did you two fight the most about?
- Money
- Sex
- Their lack of ambition
- Politics
- Jealousy
- Infidelity
Describe your stalking habits on social media. Do you stalk them? When are you lurking on their page?
- Oh, I made a full-on fake account to spy on them.
- Only when I miss them
- Every so often, not more than I’d visit a friend’s profile
- No, it hurts too much.
- No it literally doesn’t matter to me – the less I see them, the better!
How recent was this break up? Or not recent. When did you break up?
- This week
- This month
- A few months ago
- This year
- A few years ago
- We’re on and off – we’re in a bit of a pattern.
What would make you feel like you "won" this break up? Just admit you want to win and pick one.
- Having an extreme glow-up
- Doing super well at work
- Hooking up with someone way hotter
- Not saying anything negative about them. Kill ’em with kindness!
- Getting them to admit that they were wrong
- Getting them to want to get back together with you
Complete this sentence. Closure is... what?
- Absolutely crucial for moving on
- A process that takes time
- Unnecessary, abstract, and ultimately means nothing.
Even if you don't want to, you should say something nice about your ex right now. So just pick a phrase that's most apt for you two.
- They’re great at sex
- They’re incredibly kind
- They can make anyone laugh
- They’re a passionate, deep thinker.
- They’re adventurous and they know how to have a good time
- They’re romantic
If you ever saw your ex again, you'd most likely do what?
- Cry
- Scream
- Laugh
- Freeze-up
Where did you and your ex go on your first date?
- Coffee
- Drinks
- Dinner
- Movies
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