Who’s Your “Orange Is the New Black” Prison Wife?
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Orange Is the New Black is one of the most innovative, interesting shows on television. The women of Litchfield Penitentiary are dynamic, unique, and full of drama! But if you were part of the show, which of these fine prisoners would spend the most time with you? If you landed in Litchfield PenitenShow More
Orange Is the New Black is one of the most innovative, interesting shows on television. The women of Litchfield Penitentiary are dynamic, unique, and full of drama! But if you were part of the show, which of these fine prisoners would spend the most time with you? If you landed in Litchfield Penitentiary, who would most likely keep you company during those lonely months of incarceration? You will answer twelve questions all about how you ended up in the slammer, what your prison job would be, and more specific personality questions, and then we will pair you with a prison wife from Orange Is the New Black who will always have your back, be your best friend, and, you know, be more than that too.
Would Big Boo be your uh, boo, or is Piper more for you? Is Crazy Eyes your type of gal, or is Alex the one in your dreams?
Find out now, Dandelion!
A prison wife is more than just a romantic partner — they've always got your back. You want your BFF to be someone who...
- Is just plain crazy about me
- Will share their interests with me
- Takes no BS
- Will always carry a torch for me
- Drives me crazy, but I can’t live without
- Always has my back
What can you just NOT deal with?
- Bitterness
- Possessiveness
- Sneakiness
- Bad hygiene
- Craziness
- Competitiveness
Obviously, you're innocent of any crimes. But what are you locked up for?
- Illegal downloads
- Something involving alchohol
- Assault. I have rage, deal with it
- Unpaid parking fines
- Shoplifting books
- I was talked into doing something illegal
Congratulations, you've been granted furlough! What do you do with your time?
- Head directly to my favorite bistro for some food that’s actually edible
- Spend time with my sweetheart
- Take a never-ending shower
- Soak up as much nature as I possibly can
- Go out and have a good time!
- Hug the prison walls; freedom is weird
What would you most likely buy with your commissary money?
Where do you go to...you know?
- The chapel
- The library
- My bed
- A bathroom stall
- The Janitor’s closet
- The hallway, because YOLO
What could you never leave the house without?
How do you like to live your life?
- On the edge — you only live once, so you might as well enjoy it!
- By the rules — they’re there for a reason…
What's your prison job?
- Kitchen
- Laundry
- Ground work
- Electrical
- Library
- Maintenance
Do you get angry easily?
- Anything can send me into a rage
- I suppose I do have a bit of a temper
- It takes a lot…but when I snap, I really SNAP
- Sometimes I get angry and I don’t even know why, so yes
- I get more upset than angry
- Nope, I’m pretty even-tempered
Who's your ultimate celebrity girl crush?
Love is a many splendored thing. How easily do you fall for someone?
- If I decide to fall in love with someone, then that’ll be that!
- I don’t especially believe in love
- It’s tricky; I need to have a real connection with someone
- If the person’s hot, no time at all!
- Hard and fast
- I fall in love every day, with several different people
Last question - how would you rate this quiz?
- I loved it!
- It was pretty okay.
- Not great…
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