Babysit These Kids And We’ll Tell You How You’d Be As A Parent
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Some people come to parenting never having babysat a kid in their lives. Really, someone just hands them a fresh, newborn baby like “Here you go!” No instruction manual or anything. If you know a parent or are one yourself, you know that parents aren’t shy when it comes to getting real about the strShow More
Some people come to parenting never having babysat a kid in their lives. Really, someone just hands them a fresh, newborn baby like “Here you go!” No instruction manual or anything. If you know a parent or are one yourself, you know that parents aren’t shy when it comes to getting real about the struggles and insane realities of parenting. But, do you know what’s up? Like, REALLY what’s up? Bro, have you ever gotten poop in your hair? We rest our case.
Admittedly, babysitting is a part-time gig and parenting is a lifetime commitment, but you should totally test drive a couple of kids before deciding you want to become a parent yourself. It’s nothing like the real thing, but we’ve given you a mixed age bag of crazy with these twelve questions. There are no wrong answers, just what you’d do or not do. So, what kind of parent will you wind up becoming? This quiz has your answers right here!
Well isn't this cliche? You turn around for one second and the kids are drawing on the walls with permanent marker. Cute! (Ugh) What should you do now?
- Make them clean it up
- Make them switch to something less permanent and washable
- Compliment their shading and attention to detail
- Put them in time out
- Clean it up yourself! There’s no way these kids are going to do a good job.
- Give up. I give up is what I do.
It's happened to anyone who's changed a diaper. You just got peed on! Soaked, drenched - all in baby pee! How fun? What's your next move?
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Why do all kids think phones are toys? Well, this kid dropped your brand new phone in the toilet. Adorable, isn't it? Now what?
- Rescue my phone. The kids don’t know any better, they’re kids!
- Yell at them! WTF!!
- Rescue the phone, then yell at them.
- Tell them why breaking your phone was wrong then make their parents pay to replace it. It’s only fair.
You spend what seems like forever making this kid some dinner only to have them refuse it because it's "icky." What should you do now?
- Make them a second dinner, but only eat their veggies first.
- Say it’s too bad this isn’t a restaurant
- Tell them to make their different dinner themselves
- Tell them there’s starving children elsewhere who’d love that meal
- Make it a game!
You're playing what seems like a fun game of hide and seek... until these kids lock you in a closet. Crap! Don't panic, but what do you do?
- Chill. They’ll let you out eventually.
- Scream
- Call 911. They’ll be so spooked when the cops come!
- Bribe them with screen time and candy if they let you out
- Break the door down
- Threaten the kids
You should've stopped playing hide and seek because these kids are nowhere to be found. ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE. What's your next move, babysitter?
- Call the police
- Look everywhere in the neighborhood like they’re a lost dog
- Call their parents and freak out
- Loudly say it’s a shame they’re not out of their hiding place, so you have to EAT ALL THIS PIZZA YOURSELF… they’ll come out.
- Keep looking! They can’t have gone far.
The school-age children you're babysitting are insisting that they don't know how to wipe themselves in the bathroom. Yeah, right. But, now what?
- Let them have skid-marked underwear. They did this to themselves.
- Let them hang out on the toilet until they figure it out themselves
- Say if they wipe themselves they get a treat
- Call them a baby because only babies don’t know how to wipe themselves
- Wipe them, who cares?
Every kid's favorite thing to do: scream. Scream for no reason! Scream for the joy of screaming! WHY NOT?! What's your next move?
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You let them run to the kitchen real quick for a snack... but it's taking a really long time. You check on them and see they've covered themselves in ketchup and raw eggs. Oh my god, what should you do?
- Give them a bath
- Time out, obviously
- Make them clean it up
- Tell them that’s their snack and that they get no extras
- Start a food fight
- Take a picture, their parents won’t believe this.
This kid has an imaginary friend... but this kid describes them as "faceless" and that the "friend" wants you to leave. So chill, not scary at all. AHH! What's next?
- Make the parents come home! This kid is way too creepy
- Also talk to this imaginary friend and explain that you’re just there to have fun
- Do a kid-friendly exorcism. Maybe they’ll think it’s a game?
- Tell them imaginary friends are stupid
- Just a lot of crying, screaming, and praying until the parents come back.
You tell them it's bedtime and they tell you they're not tired. Then they run amuck in their room like crazy banshees. Oh no. Now what?
- Shut the lights and the door, leave.
- Say that they don’t have to sleep, but the only rule is they have to be lying down in bed.
- Offer to read some stories, then sing lullabies. They’ll be out in fifteen minutes.
- Say if they don’t sleep the closet monsters will get them.
- Give up. You can’t force anyone to sleep.
That didn't work. This kid just full-on SLAPPED YOU and said "YOU'RE NOT MY PARENTS!" Oh hell no. What should you do?
- TIME OUT
- Remain calm and say that while that’s true, they still need to listen to you.
- Make them apologize
- Slap them back
Last question - how would you rate this quiz?
- I loved it!
- It was pretty okay.
- Not great…
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