Finish These Tweets and We'll Give You a New Twitter Handle

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"People always ask me _______. Is it my face?"

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For directions
If I’m high
If I sing
To be quiet
For a hug
To do them a favor

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"Everybody should ________ at least once"

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See the Northern Lights
Go skydiving
Hunt for their own food
Rescue a dog
Fly first class
Prank call their ex

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"Ugh, someone kidnap me and take me to ________."

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Fiji
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Paris
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Yosemite
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India

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"Some days I really wish I had a(n) _________."

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Assistant
Puppy
Husband/wife/partner
Job that I like
Burrito right now
Time machine

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"Everyone should drop what they're doing and _________ right now!"

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Start listening to Bikini Kill
Make their PB&Js grilled (as in how you make a grilled cheese – IT’S AMAZING!)
Call their congressperson
Drop everything and dance
Tell me their roller derby name
Figure out what they’d do in a Birdbox situation

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It's a popular Twitter meme right now! So you know you have to fill in this blank: "Some of you never _______ and it shows."

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Had your parents confront you about your browsing history
Pretended your fast food order was for a group of friends that you were randomly the drive-thru ambassador for
Avoided gym class by pretending that you had allergies
Been to therapy even once
Had someone pretend to be in love with you as a joke
Got suckered into going to a “party” at a friend’s house and wound up getting sucked into a pyramid scheme

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"IDK if I should read into the fact that I got _________ for my birthday."

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A match.com subscription
A TON of lotion and soap
A salad spinner
A Nicolas Cage sequin flip pillow
A box of Harry & David nonsense
A motion sensored nightlight for my toilet

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"I totally lost track of time ________"

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Sitting on the toilet checking Instagram on my phone
Inventing menial tasks in the name of “productivity” so I don’t have to leave my house
Yelling at an Internet stranger about the consequences of a government shutdown
Looking at homes I can’t afford on realtor websites
Petting a stranger’s dog on the street
Filling my Amazon cart with stuff I don’t need

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Who doesn't love a good celebrity Twitter account? Who do you RT the most?

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@robdelaney
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@arianagrande
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@annakendrick47
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@barackobama

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"Everybody, you need to watch ________ right now!"

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Spiderman: Into The Spider-Verse
Bandersnatch
The Great British Baking Show
Tidying Up With Marie Kondo
Mary Poppins Returns
YOUR BACK

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Time to post an out of context inspirational quote! That's what Twitter's good for (sometimes). What's your pick?

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“Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” -Ella Fitzgerald
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” -George Eliot
“Limit your ‘always’ and your ‘nevers.'”
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” -Elbert Hubbard
“Words and ideas can change the world.” -Robin Williams
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive.” -Maya Angelou

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Time for a double! "I want , but __."

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A fit body / I can’t stop eating McDonalds
To go on vacation / I have no money
To be a YouTuber / Idk what to talk about
To have a baby / I can’t keep a plant alive
To be someone who reads books / Netflix exists
To be in a relationship / I like starfishing out on my bed too much

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"OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" -you, on Twitter. Now, what was that likely about?

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Some personal good news
A sports game
Something that happened in the news cycle
Celebrity gossip
A big moment on a TV show
A stranger getting dragged on the Internet that you’re piling on

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"You can pry ______ from my cold dead hands!"

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My phone
FanFiction
Me listening to the same five songs over and over again
My gigantic collection of books
The word “totes”
Eating my feelings as a form of self care

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"Hey, does anyone know how to _______. Help me out!"

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Get pit stains out of clothes
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Use credit card rewards points
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If Ted Cruz is *actually* the Zodiac Killer
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Make my brain stop overthinking

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"If humans are so evolved, why do we _________."

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Have things like fake news
Need a warning to tell us if a to-go coffee is hot
Keep killing our planet
Come out of the womb not able to hold up our own damn heads
Let people talk about the Earth being flat like that’s something worth debating!
Not yet know The Onion is satire

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You can't talk about Twitter without talking about live-tweeting. You're most likely to live-tweet which event?

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Game of Thrones
The Bachelor
The Superbowl
A movie I’m watching in theaters – yes, my phone is gonna be out. DON’T JUDGE ME!
Rereading the Harry Potter series
Uh, I don’t… that’s really obnoxious