We Know What Crime You'd Commit on 'Orange Is the New Black'

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Prison is hard. What's your strategy for getting through? What's your first line of defense?

Ready? Scroll down to answer

Get a prison wife
Shank someone to get a notorious reputation
Get in with the right gang
Buddy up with the guards
Just try to lay low
Is trying to make friends a strategy?

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The prison industrial complex exploits prisoners for their labor. So you get a job! Which one are you vying for the most?

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Kitchen duty
Electrical
Janitor
Laundry
Manning the library
Transportation

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Stash something under your bunk. Why? Your stash speaks to your reasons. What do you have?

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Screwdriver (to use as a weapon)
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Phone (to leverage for use so I can get what I want)
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Fancy snacks and chips (because that's currency now)
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Photos of loved ones (because... you know)

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This is bound to happen eventually. In prison, what would cause you to get into a fight with someone?

Ready? Scroll down to answer

They’ve disrespected me
They have something I want
Because someone told me to
Because I don’t like their face
Only if they hit me first
I would never!

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In your opinion, which one of these inhumane places prisoners get sent as punishment is the absolute worst for you?

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Solitary confinement
The psych ward

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You get one phone call a day. Who's your one call?

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Mom and/or Dad
Spouse or significant other
Friend
Sibling
My lawyer

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Imagine you're in the prison yard. What do you chose to do with your small window of "free" time?

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Run
Basketball, or some other kind of sport
A game (like chess) if they leave one out
Enjoying the sunlight, minding my own business
Starting a fight

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We're not going to sugar coat it: prison sucks. Which part of your (imagined) day do you actively dread the most?

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Showering
Eating a meal
Sleeping
Visitation
Any time I have to deal with a guard

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Pick a prison-hack you use to help you feel more like a normal person.

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Using sharpie as eyeliner
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Using cornstarch as dry shampoo
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Using Kool-Aid as hair dye
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Brewing my own hooch/wine

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People have needs. You want to hook up with a fellow prisoner, but you have to hide (obviously). Where do you go to hook up?

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Chapel
Our bunks, duh.
Shower
Closet

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You have to do something to cope. What do you think about to get you through?

Ready? Scroll down to answer

My family
Having freedom again
Advocating for prison reform when you’re out
Eating whatever I want
Seeing my pet again
Hahahaha, you’re acting like I’ll ever get out of here.

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Congratulations, you're going to be released from prison! That's great! But also, what are you low-key going to miss?

Ready? Scroll down to answer

The people I’ve met
The strict routine
My prison notoriety and reputation
The free healthcare
Not being around anyone I know from my life before prison

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Last question - how would you rate this quiz?

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I loved it!
It was pretty okay.
Not great…

Can We Guess What You’d Be In Jail For Based On How Well You Survive A Day On Orange Is The New Black?

Prison is hard. What's your strategy for getting through? What's your first line of defense?

The prison industrial complex exploits prisoners for their labor. So you get a job! Which one are you vying for the most?

Stash something under your bunk. Why? Your stash speaks to your reasons. What do you have?

This is bound to happen eventually. In prison, what would cause you to get into a fight with someone?

In your opinion, which one of these inhumane places prisoners get sent as punishment is the absolute worst for you?

You get one phone call a day. Who's your one call?

Imagine you're in the prison yard. What do you chose to do with your small window of "free" time?

We're not going to sugar coat it: prison sucks. Which part of your (imagined) day do you actively dread the most?

Pick a prison-hack you use to help you feel more like a normal person.

People have needs. You want to hook up with a fellow prisoner, but you have to hide (obviously). Where do you go to hook up?

You have to do something to cope. What do you think about to get you through?

Congratulations, you're going to be released from prison! That's great! But also, what are you low-key going to miss?

Last question - how would you rate this quiz?

What did you get? Let us know in the comments!

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Please, be patient, your results are being generated!

Prison is hard. What's your strategy for getting through? What's your first line of defense?

The prison industrial complex exploits prisoners for their labor. So you get a job! Which one are you vying for the most?

Stash something under your bunk. Why? Your stash speaks to your reasons. What do you have?

This is bound to happen eventually. In prison, what would cause you to get into a fight with someone?

In your opinion, which one of these inhumane places prisoners get sent as punishment is the absolute worst for you?

You get one phone call a day. Who's your one call?

Imagine you're in the prison yard. What do you chose to do with your small window of "free" time?

We're not going to sugar coat it: prison sucks. Which part of your (imagined) day do you actively dread the most?

Pick a prison-hack you use to help you feel more like a normal person.

People have needs. You want to hook up with a fellow prisoner, but you have to hide (obviously). Where do you go to hook up?

You have to do something to cope. What do you think about to get you through?

Congratulations, you're going to be released from prison! That's great! But also, what are you low-key going to miss?

Last question - how would you rate this quiz?

What did you get? Let us know in the comments!

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