Tell Us About Your Middle School Personality and We’ll Tell You Which Kid From ‘Big Mouth’ You Are
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Do you remember middle school? We don’t either. That memory is best blacked out and shoved to the back of your brain with your old locker combinations and that time your crush touched someone else’s boobs at someone you no longer speak to’s bat mitzvah. Everyone’s 13-year-old self is really raw and Show More
Do you remember middle school? We don’t either. That memory is best blacked out and shoved to the back of your brain with your old locker combinations and that time your crush touched someone else’s boobs at someone you no longer speak to’s bat mitzvah. Everyone’s 13-year-old self is really raw and fresh and still has a ton of feelings. Those feelings probably all come to the surface when you watch Big Mouth. Who doesn’t love that R rated Netflix animated series starring a ton of preteens (voiced by adults, of course)?
So, sorry to say it, but the only way to decipher what Big Mouth kid-character you are is to drag you through middle school hell all over again. Feel free to pick what little-you would have done or said even if it hurts. Good news, this is all fictional and just a quiz. We did not contact your middle school guidance counselor or dredge up embarrassing photos. Does that make you feel better? Hope so. Now, let’s get awkward!
Oh, middle school. So, when exactly did puberty smack you in your little preteen face?
- 6th grade
- 7th grade
- 8th grade
- Before middle school.
- After middle school.
Trigger warning! But, we have to ask. Did you get bullied?
- No, I got out lucky.
- I got teased, it was mostly harmless.
- Other than a few false rumors, it was nothing.
- Looking back on it, I think we’d call it bullying.
- Oh yeah, it was bad.
If your priorities have evolved since middle school, good for you. But when you were that age, what did you care about the most?
- Being popular
- Being cool
- Being smart
- Being funny
- Being attractive
What are you most likely to have written in a middle school yearbook?
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Time for some free association. We say "gym class" and you think of... what?
- Ugh, I feel like I got hit in the head with a dodgeball all over again.
- Beasting whatever sport we were doing.
- Pretending I had allergies to sit out.
- Running a mile for the presidential test for some reason?
- Gossip, slacking off, flirting.
- Eh, it was fine. I joked through it so I could slack off.
What kind of date would you go on with your middle school sweetheart?
- Hooking up in their basement.
- Holding hands and walking around the mall.
- Going to a movie and trying to make out.
- Uh, sitting together at lunch?
- Do group hangs count?
- Do school dances count?
Describe your friends. How do you know them?
- The same friends I had from elementary school. We’re tight.
- We’re teammates.
- From (Girl/Boy/Cub) scouts.
- They’re other drama and band kids.
- A close clique and everyone else is either casual friends or wants to be your friend.
- I have one family friend that’s nice to me. Does that count?
How did you get to middle school in the morning?
- Bus
- My parents dropped me off.
- Walking
This one might sting a little. Has anyone ever pretended to be in love with you as a joke?
- Ew, no. Why?
- If they did, they never told me it was a joke.
- I got secret admirer catfished, so not a specific person, but definitely a joke.
- Yeah, someone pretended to be into me. It was humiliating.
Pick the middle school cafeteria lunch you'd definitely be eating.
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What was one (supposedly) childish thing you did in middle school that you didn't want anyone else to find out about?
- That you still played with dolls.
- That you crawl into bed with your parents to sleep at night.
- That you watch children’s tv and cartoons.
- You still have a blankie and/or teddy bear.
- That you use a nightlight.
We're not talking about your classes, here. Which teacher did you like the best in middle school?
- English
- Math
- Science
- Social studies
- Gym
- None, all of them sucked.
We won't bring your hormone monsters into this, but how do you feel about how puberty is changing your body?
- Great! Make me a grown up now, please.
- Having a sex drive is cool, but this body hair is horrifying.
- My body is an amorphous leaky blob and I don’t feel cute anymore, please help.
- It’s fine, but my body didn’t get the memo to make me grow taller.
- It’s okay, but do I smell bad, tell me if I smell bad, do I smell bad?
- Uh, wait. My body’s supposed to be doing something?
Describe your study habits. How are you doing on that?
- I’m great at studying!
- I save it for the last minute, but at least I do it.
- I forget to…
- I straight up don’t study, I don’t care.
- I don’t study, but I don’t need to. I get an A anyway.
Imagine middle school you is in detention. What did you get detention for?
- Talking back to a teacher.
- Being super super to class all the time.
- Screaming at another student.
- Touching yourself in class.
- Getting into a fistfight.
- Dress code violation.
Which odd day in middle school did you look forward to the most?
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What big fashion statement did you make in middle school? What was your trendsetting moment to shine?
- Coming back from vacation in the Bahamas with (culturally appropriative) braids.
- Skater sneakers!
- A big ol’ stack of rubber bracelets.
- A LOT of eyeliner.
- A shirt with the name brand printed across it real big.
- Uh, I had a necklace I really liked that I borrowed from my mom?
If someone paid you $1,000 to go back in time to relive every single day of middle school all over again, would you do it?
- $1,000? Okay, sounds great.
- I feel like I’d do it now because I know better than I did back then.
- Sounds fun, but I’ll pass, I like being grown better.
- Increase the rate, then we’ll talk.
- I’ll pay you $1,000 to erase it from my memory.
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