Which Cult Leader Are You Most Like?

1

You decide to start a cult — great! In order to gather a following, you have to win support. What will draw your minio...err, followers?

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A perfect socialist utopia
The eradication of inferior races
Polyamory — more wives for everyone!
Spaceship rides, wheee!

2

If you expect your followers to follow you, their feet have to be comfortable! What kind of shoes will they wear?

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3

Your cult needs a prime habitat to worship before passing to the next dimension. Which environment will foster your cult’s growth?

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4

Other than lies and deceit, you need to feed your followers some grub! What are they going to eat?

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Applesauce and vodka
Kool-aid
Vegetarian schnitzel
Mushrooms — while listening to the Beatles
The bread of Christ

5

Cult leaders need love, too! Is there a special someone in your life?

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There are quite a few. They are my followers, after all.
Yes, but they’re not involved in my business.
Yes! They’re my best friend and life partner.
No. I don’t need love.

6

It's time to sign up for college courses! Which class are you most excited to attend?

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Art History
Art of Listening to Music
Theology
UFOs in American Society
Marxist Philosophy
Musical Theatre

7

Speaking of school, what kind of student were you?

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I was great! A model student with perfect grades.
Good enough to get my master’s degree!
Average — I passed but wasn’t a stand-out.
Terrible. Life teaches you more than school does.

8

“No Shave November” is several months away, but it’s never too early to plan! How will you be groomed this fall?

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Mustache all the way.
Fancy goatee.
Choppy sideburns. Groovy!
No shaving? What do I look, homeless?

9

Developing a cult often involves worship. Do you believe in God?

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Absolutely.
Yeah, that’s me!
No, but that’s a great business concept.
I’m an atheist, but don’t tell anyone.

10

The election is coming up! As leader, you have to brainwash your followers to support the right candidate. Who do you vote for?

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Ted Cruz
Donald Trump
Bernie Sanders
Hillary Clinton

11

After the world follows your cult, what is the first thing you plan to get rid of?

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Racism
Organized religion
Income inequality
Minorities
Gay marriage
Islam

12

At your recruitment meetings, you have to have some catchy music! What will your followers be singing every day?

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The Beatles
Electronic Dance Music
Gospel
Classical Beethoven
American folk

13

Last question - how would you rate this quiz?

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I loved it!
It was pretty okay.
Not great…

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You decide to start a cult — great! In order to gather a following, you have to win support. What will draw your minio...err, followers?

If you expect your followers to follow you, their feet have to be comfortable! What kind of shoes will they wear?

Your cult needs a prime habitat to worship before passing to the next dimension. Which environment will foster your cult’s growth?

Other than lies and deceit, you need to feed your followers some grub! What are they going to eat?

Cult leaders need love, too! Is there a special someone in your life?

It's time to sign up for college courses! Which class are you most excited to attend?

Speaking of school, what kind of student were you?

“No Shave November” is several months away, but it’s never too early to plan! How will you be groomed this fall?

Developing a cult often involves worship. Do you believe in God?

The election is coming up! As leader, you have to brainwash your followers to support the right candidate. Who do you vote for?

After the world follows your cult, what is the first thing you plan to get rid of?

At your recruitment meetings, you have to have some catchy music! What will your followers be singing every day?

Last question - how would you rate this quiz?

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