Which 'Seinfeld' Character Are You?

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What’s the best part of celebrating Festivus?

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“I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think, ‘That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.'”
“I’m 33 years old. I haven’t outgrown the problems of puberty. I’m already facing the problems of old age. I completely skipped healthy adulthood.”
“I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter. My grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to give up.”
“This woman thinks I’m very funny and now you’re gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I’m gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn’t seem so funny.”

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“What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked.”
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
“I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can’t smell it. Can’t eat it. Can’t taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, ‘Well, here it is. You can’t have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.’”
“You can measure distance by time. ‘How far away is it?’ ‘Oh about 20 minutes.’ But it doesn’t work the other way. ‘When do you get off work?’ ‘Around 3 miles.’”